Okay, I’m going to take a break (you’re all thinking – haven’t you already taken one – I apologize) from fixing stupidity to celebrate intelligence. I went to a Jeopardy! contestant search yesterday after passing the online test in January. So, here’s what happened.
The day of my Jeopardy! audition finally arrived. Knowing how the DC traffic is, I decided to leave early and bring something to read to keep myself busy. I left my house at 6:15. Around 7:00 I was on Rt. 29 passing my office and decided to swing by and grab a cup of tea and use a restroom that I knew to be clean before getting onto Metro. I also heard on the radio that the shuttle was going to fly over DC, and I was wishing I had the 11:30 appointment instead. So I continued down towards Metro and crossed over 95 and the beltway and saw tons of stopped traffic. Thank goodness for my GPS! I found a parking space and started walking towards the station. I realized I hadn’t been on Metro in about 15 years, so I had no idea how much I would have to pay. I asked a young woman about the fare and she told me it was $4.25 and complained about how high it was. I thought, it’s only $1 more than it was 15 years ago, so it wasn’t that bad. I rode in and got to the Capitol Hilton at 8:40. I thought I’d get there early, not by just 20 minutes!
I found the desk and was hit with a sense of deja vu. When I saw Robert & Maggie, I thought I had done this before. My a-ha moment would come about an hour later.
Robert approached me and took my picture and handed me my paperwork. He said the picture might not have been good and I might need a retake. After I filled out my paperwork, I asked him if he thought the picture was okay. He replied “I’m not a miracle worker” and I said, “yeah, I guess I don’t give you much to work with.”
Maggie then gave the group some general instructions. She specifically gave instructions about unavailable dates, like if we were giving birth, getting married, etc. I raised my hand and asked “What could be more important than Jeopardy!”
We split into 2 groups and went into separate rooms and were given a 50 question test. Robert gave us instructions and said make a guess if you don’t know, don’t leave questions blank. They also mentioned that if you answered questions a bit out of order, they would be able to figure it out. After question 10, I thought, “hey maybe I can put down the answers in random order to mess with their heads”, but I thought better of it.
They then graded the tests while we talked among ourselves. The guy next to me came from a Minneapolis suburb, and, being the person who came the greatest distance, won the Wii version of Jeopardy! Beyond him was a soft-spoken woman attorney from DC. I can’t see her on there because she was so quiet. I talked a bit of baseball with the guys in front of me. Then, because I was wearing a crossword puzzle tie, I was approached by a chemistry teacher from Charlottesville. He told me he submitted crossword puzzles to Wil Shortz and finally had one accepted. His name is Mike F., and he is my bet for most likely member of our group to be on the show. He projected well, had fun and was personable.
Robert & his group returned to the room and had us return to our seats. It then struck me why it all seemed so familiar. I had seen both Robert & Maggie at a previous contestant search in Towson about 6 years ago. He remembered being there and asked how I did and I told him I didn’t get past the 50 question test (this was in the days of the 10 question qualifying tests).
They called up people 3 at a time to play the game. I was in the 2nd group. I was a bit nervous and my knees were shaking. The guy to my left, an attorney from Salisbury, was a nervous swayer (there were a ton of them). I can’t picture them taking any of the swayers, it would tend to make viewers seasick. He bumped my left arm at least 3 times.
Then came the interviews. I brought along my 5 “fun facts” we were told to bring, and I thought they’d be awesome. All the questions to each of us were very general, though, as though they didn’t read the facts. They asked about our jobs, families and hobbies and what we would do with the money. I dug up an old idea from the 90’s and said I would use the money for an “interplanetary bike ride” that would start in Saturn, IN, go through Neptune, OH, Mars, PA, etc. It seemed to me that with a couple of exceptions, the same questions were asked. One guy had a wife on Jeopardy! and a lady had a brother on the show, and they were asked about that. I wish it could have gone on longer, it was fun.
When it was over, I went to the mens room. Then, I called my old high school friend, Kim, to set up our lunch appointment. That will be another story.
fixingstupidity 
My 5 fun facts I went with were:
I know when my kids reach 4 foot tall, since I have a bunch of scars running across my chest from running full speed into a 4 foot tall fence while trying to catch a homerun ball in softball.
I’ve been hit by a car twice, once walking, once on a bike, and had no injuries that a band-aid (and a new watch band) couldn’t fix.
I play in an annual Ultimate Frisbee tournament where I’m by far the oldest player on my team, and most of my teammates weren’t born when I first played.
At the urging of my 8-year old, I added: I didn’t learn how to do a flip on a trampoline until after I turned 40. I then made the mistake of teaching him. He now flips on all the furniture and thinks it’s his duty to teach all his friends to flip.
I used to work at a place that required the wearing of ties. I invented a little insert for my tie that would allow my tie to curve upwards like Dilbert.